The Price of Time
Admittedly I am a busy person. Okay, I’ll be even more honest, I’m probably borderline workaholic. But I LOVE it! I have work I enjoy (after several years of work that I hated). I enjoy it. I’m good at it. I help people and my contributions are valued. Who wouldn’t get a high from that?
But as I age and more importantly as my children age, I have found that the price of my time is more expensive than any job can pay. There’s no amount that can compensate me for missing family dinner ( I refuse to miss it). There’s no amount that can compensate me to not establish a routine of nightly devotion (I refuse to miss it. Even when I have to pry my 6-year-old from the TV). There’s no amount that can compensate me for preserving a Saturday for time at the park (Even though it’s incredibly hot and humid and Louisiana mosquitos have apparently developed an immunity to anything that could possibly kill them.) And most importantly there’s no amount that can keep me from quality time with my husband whom I am learning to treasure more and more as the years go by.
I MUST make time for my family.
I MUST make time for time with God.
These are two non-negotiables I am developing this year.
Creeping into the back of my mind is the realization as a leader of another essential non-negotiable for healthy ministry. Though this one is coming behind God and Family in order of importance, it is nonetheless important: TIME FOR THE PEOPLE.
Outside of ministry, my vocation consists of a lot of technology, automation and strategic system development. Somewhere along the lines, the line got blurred.
Technology, automation and strategic system development became the heartbeat of the way I conducted much of my ministry. Schedules, software, data-collection— those became the things that got my attention the most.
Somewhere along the way, I forgot that the heartbeat of Jesus is people and therefore the heartbeat of His body on mission must be that as well.
I am attempting to turn the ship.
I am attempting to see the person behind every slot on every schedule. To check in with them, to know what’s going on in their life, to have a PULSE on Jesus’ people. And I’ll admit it, it’s not super easy. My tendency is to try to develop a schedule around how to do that.
But the dividends of this type of ministry are exponential. After all, isn’t it the fact that someone kept a pulse on you the reason you got saved? Whether directly through evangelism or indirectly through prayer an invitation to church or someone’s example, every believer became a believer because SOMEONE had a pulse on their eternal destination.
Jesus did the HARDEST part. He provided the path. But He has left the responsibility of seeing people along the path to US. And the weight of this responsibility is especially heavy for leaders (James 3:1).
But it’s the ONLY way people can be transferred from an eternal destination of hell to an eternal destination of heaven and it’s the only way people can GROW in their pursuit of becoming more and more like Christ.
Life’s challenges are too great to expect people to flourish without SOMEONE personally checking in on them, someone calling, someone showing up at midnight. People NEED people to thrive and grow. Leader, people NEED YOU. Not just your preaching, leading or serving, they need your coffee date, your birthday party visit, and your phone call out of the blue.
They need to know you see them and they need to know you CARE.
James 3:1
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
John 4:35
Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.
Romans 10:14
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?
Who’s it Really About?
I’ve heard very clearly the Lord’s cry for this year upon my life: “Pulse on People.”
At VIP we very much believe in Core Principle #7, “We serve God not people.” After all, it’s a core principle. But it must be clarified the role of people in that phrase.
People shouldn’t dictate or dominate our decision-making or discipleship. People shouldn’t hold the key to our self-esteem, time management or spirituality. But for everyone leaders especially everything should be done with people in mind.
The moment we get our heads in the sand, lost in our programming our personal discipleship plan, our own agenda and we lose sight of people— Jesus’ most precious possession, we’ve lost a major battle of our faith.
I believe this is why Satan attempts so hard to bring discord and division. He’s an easy way to get our eyes off of Christ’s body and onto our own.
For me, this is a regular struggle. It takes real effort for me to lift up my eyes and see that the harvest is ripe (John 4:35).
I can get lost in my work. It’s my passion and I truly enjoy it. The planning, and the strategizing, excites me.
But what’s it really about?
Who’s it really about?
Most faithful minister, most sincere leader, I challenge you to ask yourself a question: Who is fueling you?
Personal satisfaction or people’s revelation of Christ?
2 Peter 3:9
9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance
John 4:35
35 Do you not say, ‘There are still four months and then comes the harvest’? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest!
Philippians 2:3-5
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Why can’t I just do all of it?
One of my favorite Taylor Swift lines is, “When you are young they assume you know nothing. But I knew everything…”
Taylor’s right—at least in some part. The lyric resonates tremendously with me.
I grew up in a wonderful church. A wonderful church that had flaws like EVERY OTHER CHURCH in the world. One of the things that was always strange to me was the rigid roles everyone had to play. It was like characters on a TV show. There’s “the smart one,” “the funny one,” “the pretty one,” you get the picture. Except in church there’s “the firery one,” “the pray-er",” “the musical one,” “the one whose really good at explaining things,” “the one whose really good at getting you excited” and none of these EVER overlapped. EVER.
At least that’s how it felt to me.
It felt like in ministry there are uniforms you put on and they’re each distinct and clearly defined.
And none of them felt like me.
Oh sure, people tried to tell me which one I was made to wear. But something in me always kicked back. Now I’d say it was Holy Spirit kicking back.
I wasn’t born to wear a man-made costume of religion. I was born to reflect the image of the invisible God and who is ANYONE to say they know EXACTLY what that looks like?
How BOLD to say anyone can DEFINE what God’s plan looks like in someone’s life.
So stand firm if you’re made to do things differently and BE QUIET if you don’t understand someone’s path.
It’s not your job to understand and only one of you will stand before the judgment seat of Christ one day and give an account.
Conflict is Inevitable: 4 Steps to Resolving Internal Conflict
I am not naturally a confrontational person. I’ll admit that. That is not to say, however, that I haven’t had to deal with my fair share of conflict in ministry.
I often find that my personality leads me to internalize my frustrations. But just because you internalize conflict doesn’t mean it’s 1.) Healthy or 2.) Not real.
Internalized conflict can be just as dangerous, if not more so, as explosive conflict.
I often come back to the writer of Hebrews who says: There is something dangerous about a ROOT of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15). Roots start small and unseen (Sound familiar, my non-confrontational friends?) but from them can come mighty consequences.
For those who are more “full steam ahead” in their emotions, it’s almost better (if you can avoid sinning in your anger [Ephesians 4:26-27]) because at least the issue is out in the open and not taking root in your heart. But that’s not the purpose of this post…
I was recently asked by a church leader to complete a task that instantly made me cringe. Immediately, I could feel my stress levels begin to heighten, my defenses begin to mount and a bit of anger begin to rise up.
(Hey, I’m a HUMAN!)
I began to wrestle with my emotions because I seriously wanted to say, “No! That’s dumb and I don’t agree.” But thank God for His wisdom!
I knew I didn’t want the discomfort of my internal turmoil to continue but I also wanted to be sure that my reasons for wanting to say “No” weren’t based in a valid concern or righteous anger. After all, the Bible is VERY CLEAR that in the last days even sources that seem good can actually be attempting to lead you towards evil (Matthew 24:12).
This is why John tells us that we are to “Test the spirits to see whether they are from God (1 John 4:1)” and DO NOT just believe everything that comes out of the mouth of a person who is a Christian—EVEN LEADERS (paraphrased)!
Does this mean you should go around with a magnifying glass full of doubt, stirring up division and confusion regarding Christian fellowship? NO, NO, NO!
But it does mean when you have “check in your spirit” or a “discomfort in your emotions” it’s a good time to pause and invite Holy Spirit in for clarity and discernment regarding what’s really going on (1 Corinthians 12:10).
With the help of Holy Spirit you can go from internal conflict to a peaceful resolution, often without ever even having to engage with another person (as was my recent testimony).
4 Steps to Resolving Internal Conflict through the ministry of Holy Spirit:
In prayer, invite Holy Spirit into the conflict. Welcome His presence, His counsel and His wisdom. After all, Holy Spirit is JESUS’ personal presence in your life and He wants to be involved in EVERYTHING (John 16:7, 13-14 NIV).
Ask Holy Spirit to reveal why is this conflict bothering you? Run the situation through a “test” of righteousness or evil. (In my situation, I realized that I was NOT being asked to do something evil or sinful so I knew the conflict was more about me than the other person. However, if evil were involved, then it would be a clear time to STOP and go no further. Remember that part earlier about the last days and evil?)
With the help of Holy Sprit, create an action plan to deal with the results of Step 2. (For me, because the discomfort was solely due to my personality type, I took the request as an opportunity to GROW in my leadership. Yes, it would be uncomfortable to execute. No, this is not how I would choose to deal with the situation “if I were in charge.” However, the chance to overcome, grow in my leadership and build Kingdom influence would be worth it! However, if evil were being asked, it would be time to schedule a meeting and have a SERIOUS conversation.)
Ask Holy Spirit for courage and boldness to execute Step 3.
Personally, I felt my discomfort begin to ease within 5 minutes of executing these steps. PLUS, I never even had to have a confrontation with the other person.
That’s a win, win to me!
Scripture References
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Hebrews 12:15 NIV
https://hebrews.bible/hebrews-12-15
““In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/eph.4.26-27.NIV
“At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,”
Matthew 24:10-12 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.24.10-12.NIV
“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
1 John 4:1 NIV
https://1john.bible/1-john-4-1
“to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.”
I Corinthians 12:10 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.12.10.NKJV
“But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you.”
John 16:7, 13-14 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/jhn.16.7-14.NIV
5 Ways to Reconnect with God
How to reset when ministry work overtakes your relationship with God
We believe in the personal work of developing your relationship with God separatefrom the work of the ministry. Admittedly, this is easier said than done but any effort you put into your relationship with Jesus will be exponentially rewarding.
Here’s a few tips to try if you find yourself in a slump, stagnant or not in the strongest place with your personal devotion:
1. Be intentional- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “Is it as genuine if I have to try at it?” YES! Because much like a relationship with other humans, there are ebbs and flows to this thing and some effort may be required to get back on track.
God never distances Himself from us (Hebrews 13:5) and His Spirit is a constant reminder of this (Ephesians 1:13), but as humans we have a tendency to let the cares of this world distract us resulting in less focused attention on the role that we play in the relationship.
Thankfully, like a human relationship, there are some steps we can take to once again cultivate a healthy, vibrant and passionate relationship with the Lord. Here a few:
Schedule time for personal prayer, worship and devotion. That’s right, put it on your calendar. You put the dentist. Why not put Jesus down there too? Everyday. You pick the time and place and keep a standing appointment with the King. Most digital calendars allow you to set alerts and reminders to help the appointment not slip through the cracks. Isn’t Jesus worthy of that??
Do a Bible reading plan through YouVersion. I LOVE YouVersion! There are so many terrific plans and it allows you to set up notifications to remind you to do them. You can even find plans specifically geared “reset,” “return to God” or similar topics! What are you waiting for? You probably already have the app!
Take a break from serving in the church. While this may seem extreme, only you know if this is the right decision for you. Ultimately, your time with Jesus is more important than your time with a church building if that’s all it’s become to you. Perhaps a month off or being scheduled less frequently will allow you to truly plug in when you’re at a church service.
2. Recognize that things may look differently now. I found myself at the beginning of 2021 saying, “God, light a fire in me like I used to have in high school,” and the Lord said, “You’re not the same person you were in high school. I have something new.” Isaiah 43:19 tells us that “new” is God’s nature and character.
While your old relationship with God may have been great, it can be even better today. There’s no need to live in the past concerning your relationship with God any more than you’d want to live in the past regarding natural human relationships.
You’ve got new circumstances, new problems, new relationships and maybe even a whole new zip code and God wants to match that in how He moves in your life. Ask God to give you something new and expect Him to meet you!
3. Seek accountability. I’m not telling you that having a distant relationship with God is sin. Holy Spirit will have to personally reveal that to you. But I can tell you that having a distant relationship with God isn’t His best for you because you’re His child.
James 5:16 tells us that we can experience true healing when we let others in on our sin and shortcomings. If you are struggling in your personal devotion, tell a spiritually mature, trusted friend or leader.
Ask them to help you stay on track and give them permission to ask you tough questions like, “Have you been reading your Bible? What have your prayer habits been like? Are you focused and listening at church or just filling a seat?” Giving a trusted friend permission to fill this role will likely motivate you to not want to let them or Jesus down in this area. (Obviously, it’s all about Jesus but you get what I mean. Peer pressure works…)
4. Diversify resources. (This relates somewhat to tip 2)- You don’t have to read the same Christian authors you always have, listen to the same worship band or even follow the same preachers you’ve historically liked. Branching out can be fun and cause you to consider different ideas you may have never encountered before.
*Consider this one a “spice it up” recommendation to get back in the swing of things.*
5. Be gracious with yourself. It’s cliché but true: “Life is a marathon, not a sprint,” and the same is true in Christianity. It’s totally okay if you don’t knock it out the park every single day but it’s not okay to not try. Jesus deserves better.
Don’t treat your relationship with God like a diet where you mess up at breakfast so you throw the whole day away eating Big Macs and stuffed crust pizzas. Don’t let shame keep you from your relationship because of one or a series of mishaps.
I’ve seen it happen so many times. A bad season becomes a bad year, becomes a bad decade and it all started with one schedule change, one moral failure or one misunderstanding between believers.
Wherever you are in your relationship, right this very moment, start now. Take a step towards the Father. I guarantee He’s waiting with open arms to receive you (Luke 15:20-24).
Scripture References
'Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”'
Hebrews 13:5
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/HEB.13.5
'And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. '
Ephesians 1:13
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/EPH.1.13
'For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.'
Isaiah 43:19
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/ISA.43.19
'Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. '
James 5:16
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/JAS.5.16
'“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.#15:21 Some manuscripts add Please take me on as a hired servant.’ “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.'
Luke 15:20-24
How do you like me now?
“Everybody’s just there for Jesus.”
-Season 1, Episode 3
This point seems like it should be as natural as breathing. After all, we’re all in love with Jesus, right?
But somehow the thought of sitting at the feet of Jesus gets lost in translation as we scamper and scurry to turn on lights, greet visitors, burp babies, teach children, lead worship, preach or even in just the effort it takes show up on time for service.
Somehow we forget that the output of all of our efforts is to connect people to Jesus and that He’s the reason people even attend church in the first place. All of our efforts, heck, all of our lives, are only the branches and fruit of a much bigger work whereby He’s the vine and our Father is the vinedresser.
(See John 15:1-8)
In keeping with this metaphor that Jesus so beautifully illustrated, consider this: If He is truly the vine of our lives, the life giving source of everything holy, good and perfect, how could we ever attempt to “do church” (the assembly of His body) apart from a personal connection to Him?
How could we ever call anything we accomplish holy, good or perfect if we’re not first devoted to personal worship and attendance at His feet?
(See Mary and Martha: Luke 10:38-42)
Does ministry feel dry and exhausting? I’d almost bet you’re neglecting your life source.
Do you find yourself irritable and impatient? You’re likely missing the personal work of Holy Spirit, which can only be refined by time with the One who is love, joy, peace, patience…
We often find ourselves in these types of slumps completely unaware of how we got there. Suddenly, we’re looking back at our lives, remembering the closeness and intimacy we once enjoyed with Jesus, wondering ‘What the heck happened now?’ since we’re “doing” all the “right” things.
The decline happens slowly and seemingly innocently enough:
Personal prayer is forgone for corporate prayer.
Personal Bible study is replaced with small group.
Personal worship is replaced with K-Love.
And before you know it, you’re doing the church thing on Sunday (or Wednesday or whenever you serve/attend) instead of the Jesus thing— the whole reason you even got started to begin with!
But the Jesus thing is the work which saved and redeemed you! The Jesus thing is what will endure for ages to come when our church buildings are nothing more than a distant memory and a dim reflection of the true splendor and beauty of the Bride of Christ.
Leaders, consider this: Could it be that the day one believer, the one who just gave their life to Christ at the altar, has a better understanding of the purpose of the gathering of the saints than you do?
After all, that person showed up for Jesus and nothing more.
“So, whose the baby Christian, now?”
Scripture References
'“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.'
John 15:1-8
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/JHN.15.1-8
'As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”'
Luke 10:38-42
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/LUK.10.38-42
Oh, I get it now. I think? Maybe?
I was working on the blog late tonight and it just hit me. I wasn’t even supposed to be writing about Core Value #2 this evening but I can’t stop myself.
Maybe church hurt is the worse hurt because the place where you found salvation, rededication, freedom, whatever, is the same place that also turned in an instant against you?
It’s like an irreconcilable difference. It causes a kind of cognitive dissonance so vast many people never recover completely.
The person who once loved you the most now can’t stand the sight of you so you divorce. The person you once wanted to spend all your time with no longer has time for you. The arms you once felt safest in are now the arms that push you away.
Admittedly that’s not my story but I do know it is some people’s journey. And there seems to be very little Biblical testimony on how difficult these kinds of rifts can be— David and Saul; Paul and Barnabas (that’s all I can find).
But beyond personal anecdote and a few Biblical examples there’s not a ton to tell us exactly why church hurt hurts so bad. But I want to put a few pieces of scripture together to try and take a stab at the answer so that we can all be motivated to just DO BETTER!
There’s something ghastly wrong about a person who cuts their own arm off. Literally, that’s only appropriate in rare instances like you’re snowed in at a yurt on Mt. Everest or whatever happened to that man. You know which movie I’m talking about…
In normal settings, anyone who is self mutilating would be in need of sincere and serious mental health treatment. We would not hesitate to recommend that that friend gets some help.
But what if I said that person is Jesus?
You’d say, “Blasphemy!” And trust me, I’m really trying to tread lightly here, but this thing is SERIOUS.
Why is it okay or swept under the rug when Jesus’ body self harms but we write love on the arms of humans who do so (as we rightfully should do)? Why are we in a bigger hurry to rescue human bodies from self harm than we are to rescue Jesus’ body from self harm? Something is SERIOUSLY WRONG that!
If I am connected to you and you are connected to me then I need to have the utmost reverence and respect for how I relate to you. A mis-step, a mis-communication could be potentially dire and while we can’t entirely prevent such events, simple awareness of the depth of our interconnectivity can go far—
“Brother O”: Onesimus
As we were working on episode two I was really struck by the passion Paul displayed in his writing in regard to Onesimus. Many denominations, the one I grew up in as well, really put Paul on a pedestal. And rightfully so, in my opinion.
However, it’s often Paul’s wisdom, his courage, his understanding, the fact that he came face to face (albeit he was blinded in the process) with Jesus. And all of these are certainly worth striving towards, writing books about and using his writings to travel down a path of sanctification with.
It’s surprising though, that this relationship with Onesimus, isn’t often one of the traits we praise Paul for. But it really should be.
In fact, Paul said it himself in Corinthians,
“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”
1 Corinthians 13:2 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/1co.13.2.nlt
I think if we were to put this in American church terms (the things we place high value on but really don’t count for much in God’s eyes without the ingredient of Agape love) we could say something to the effect of this— “If I listen to all the right music, have the good LED lights and host small groups from surfing to cast iron cooking, but don’t love people, then something’s wrong.”
And that was me, honestly. I’d gotten so in the routine. The busy-ness of it all. And it’s sneaky because by anyone else’s account I was probably doing great. I was doing the church thing right. And honestly, I was even listening to the messages and living a Godly lifestyle.
But I wasn’t interested in people. I could’ve cared less about the details and needs of the people around me.
You see, God’s love isn’t just a love that says “Oh, I’m going to treat you well.” (Because admittedly, I was doing that.) I wasn’t yelling or snapping at people. I just wasn’t interested in them. I didn’t have Paul’s heart when he spoke of Onesimus and said:
“I am sending him back to you, and with him comes my own heart.”
Philemon 1:12 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/phm.1.12.nlt)
No, God’s love and the love we’re called to extend to everyone but especially those in the household of faith (Galatians 6:10) is far more than that. It’s a love that goes the extra mile (Matthew 5:41). It’s love that says, “How are you? No, I mean how are you?” It doesn’t’ settle for a possible miscommunication but seeks to clear the air quickly. It goes out of it’s way to check in, be involved, mourn together and rejoice together.
And this is the kind of love that let’s us know a church is being a church (1 Corinthians 12:25-26).
It’s VERY difficult to change organizational culture. It’s FAIRLY difficult to change yourself. But start there. Don’t set off to change your whole church. Or to find a whole church that does all of these things perfect. Just start with yourself. Because you are church. As hand or a foot, a toenail or an eyebrow bone you are Christ’s body. And you can bring that love that Paul and Onesimus love into the atmosphere of your church.
Scripture References
'Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.'
Galatians 6:10
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/GAL.6.10
'If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. '
Matthew 5:41
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/MAT.5.41
'This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.'
1 Corinthians 12:25-26
Shepherd, Shepherd
The heart of VIP is to help every part of the Body be its best. But to be honest, there exists a certain almost unfairness in the role of the leader.
To enter into a leadership role is to say, “Okay, hold me to a higher standard.” And this standard is iron clad and written in the Word whether any pastor, elder or team leader ever states it.
Time and again, be it Jesus, Paul or even the authors of the Old Testament, the Word advises that a position of authority comes with a personal price of self discipline, accountability and integrity that may be judged by humans but is most definitely judged by God.
(See 1 Timothy 3:1-10, Titus 1:6-9 or any of the law regarding the Levitical priests.)
This is sobering, really. American church, e-church and countless media outlets do a fantastic job of celebritizing the role of a church leader. In fact, the idea of difficulty associated with a title or position is often glossed over by the glamour of fame and potential of cash sales.
(Too dark? I digress.)
Leadership is rewarding.
Leadership is a lot of self sacrifice.
Sacrifice of time. Sacrifice of the right to defend. Sacrifice of the right to be right. And all solely for the greater good of the sheep.
And so I say it again. It’s not always fair.
Am I saying that the leader is not allowed to defend against false accusations or stand up for themselves when a miscommunication arises or when one is being victimized at the hands of a fellow believer? Absolutely not!
In fact, as we journey through the 10 VIP principles, we’ll talk about how to deal with these issues and more.
But what I am saying is that the leader does not get to deal with interpersonal difficulties in the Body the same way a “sheep” or church members they’re directly over may choose to.
When Jesus gives us the parable of the lost sheep in Matthew 18: 12-14 and Luke 15: 3-7, we get a model of the Father’s heart to His children and Jesus’ heart towards His brothers and sisters. All of the emphasis is on the shepherd. All of the energy to seek and find the lost sheep is on the shepherd and all of the focus in the reconciliation is upon the shepherd.
Never do you find the shepherd scolding the sheep for wandering. Nor do you see the shepherd requiring the sheep to jump through a bunch of hoops to return. It’s simply: “You were lost, relationship was broken. I have sought you out to restore the relationship and I am ecstatic that you have returned.”
(Ah, to be so gracious.)
But you KNOW a real shepherd had feelings that were deeper than this, uglier than this, more human than this. But the parable’s shepherd didn’t let those feelings spill over in such a way that they prevented the reason he became a shepherd in the first place— to care for sheep!
And as leaders this reality must be at the forefront of all of our dealings. Because sheep will roam. Sheep will walk off a cliff you warned them of. Sheep will bite back. Sheep will squirm away from the sheering. But sheep need their shepherd. And the shepherd’s allegiance must be to something much higher than his sheep’s response.
The allegiance must first be to the Lord’s call to love and serve those individuals which have been put in the shepherd’s care.
Is this too spiritual? Is this too hypothetical? Let me break it down for you in a personal example.
A disclaimer before I even begin this: I did not feel all of these things in an instant and it is still taking a daily crucifixion of the flesh to give myself an attitude check when I recall this instance—
Our worship team had worked their butts off to be ready for Easter service. We prepare with the philosophy, “Work out all the technical details during home practice, rehearsal and sound check and then during actual worship service just worship God free from any other concerns.”
And when I tell you, they worked, they worked and I was so proud. So when a team member crossed a line and affected the worship team’s ability to just sit back, worship and lead other’s into the presence of God, I knew I needed to step in and course correct in what I felt was a gentle and informal manner.
(After all, we had multiple services to carry out this day.)
Well, it doesn’t take a genius to draw conclusions that the corrective conversation did not go how I planned. In fact, it ended with tears, a door slammed and hurtful accusations.
And honestly, I was ticked. I felt betrayed. I felt misunderstood. I felt disrespected. I felt angry. And I wanted to say all of those things because they were absolutely true to me. I wanted to bite back because I felt I had been needlessly attacked.
Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed. I did my best to smooth over the situation; but I knew it wasn’t something that could be settled in the 3 minutes I’d allotted for the conversation so I just had to give it to the Lord and carry on with Easter service.
But driving home from those services was tough. The incident remained on my mind the whole afternoon as I replayed it over multiple times.
I decided to try and reach out for resolution and reconciliation but my phone call and text message went unanswered. Naturally, indignation continued to bubble.
When my efforts were eventually returned, apologies and tears spilled over the phone line with explanations that honestly had little to do with me. It seemed I simply bore the brunt of mis-directed frustrations. Wrong place, wrong time.
Of course, I accepted the apology and assured the party that I’d think nothing else of it.
(Admittedly easier said than done.)
There was still so much more I wanted to say. So much more defense I wanted to give. So many more reasons why they were wrong in the first place. And trust me, I had a lawyer’s brief case full of defense.
But the Lord constrained me. Holy Spirit spoke peace to me.
Why?
Because this person needed to be in the fold more than I needed to be right.
The Lord knows all hearts—my feelings and theirs. And you know what? He valued their presence in the pasture more than my ego’s need to be heard and understood.
Do I still bristle some when I think of this. Yes, but it’s less every day.
And this is VIP leadership: Seeing the big picture of God’s people, setting aside the need to be coddled and trusting that God will take care of everything for me if I simply choose to care for those He’s entrusted to me.
So yeah, it sucks. But it’s so worth it. Because His pleasure is worth it. In fact, it’s all we’re called to live for. God’s glory and Jesus’ sacrifice is all that matters at the end of it all.
Scripture References
'This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be a church leader, he desires an honorable position.” So a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? A church leader must not be a new believer, because he might become proud, and the devil would cause him to fall. Also, people outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not be disgraced and fall into the devil’s trap. In the same way, deacons must be well respected and have integrity. They must not be heavy drinkers or dishonest with money. They must be committed to the mystery of the faith now revealed and must live with a clear conscience. Before they are appointed as deacons, let them be closely examined. If they pass the test, then let them serve as deacons.'
1 Timothy 3:1-10
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/1TI.3.1-10
'An elder must live a blameless life. He must be faithful to his wife, and his children must be believers who don’t have a reputation for being wild or rebellious. A church leader is a manager of God’s household, so he must live a blameless life. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered; he must not be a heavy drinker, violent, or dishonest with money. Rather, he must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life. He must have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong.'
Titus 1:6-9
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/TIT.1.6-9
'“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.'
Matthew 18:12-14
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/MAT.18.12-14
'So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!'
Luke 15:3-7
Immediate Panic
When we concluded our first podcast episode I immediately panicked when I got into the car. I thought back on my friend’s story that I shared about leaving church for a year because of a volunteer scheduling misunderstanding and I worried I’d downplayed her pain (hey, hey, I am human…).
I decided to call her and ask her to think back on that time and I was happy to find that it did indeed all go down the way I recalled and she actually had some really poignant reflection on the experience that happened over 6 years ago.
The problem with pain is there’s always two sides of it.
And VIP isn’t going to help anyone if we aren’t constantly keeping that thought at the forefront.
My friend, being 6 years down the road, was able to look back and identify things she could’ve done differently and then of course do the more natural reaction, identify what the leader could’ve done differently. I think that’s a REALLY healthy way to deal with pain.
Healthy, but certainly not easy.
When we’re in the throws of hurt, rage, confusion, frustration, it’s easiest to only see our side of the pain (Matthew 7:5). But Core Value #1 of VIP requires us to remember that every other believer is just as much of a VIP as we are. It requires us to extend the same amount of grace to them as we’d like to extended to us (Colossians 3:13).
Because we’re Christ’s Body and we’re all interconnected (1 Corinthians 12:15-17), we must give the same benefit of the doubt to another person as we’d like to receive. We must extend the same opportunity for people clarify as we’d like to be given. And give people the same space to just be a human as we’d like to be given.
Does that mean you need to subject yourself to varying shades of abuse? Of course not. That’s not the Father’s heart towards you. But in terms of the normal day to day misunderstandings that arise because we live in a fallen world, give grace. Go the extra mile. Ask the tough and awkward questions (in my friend’s case) and clarify your actions if you sense you may have hurt someone’s (in the leader’s case).
Anything less than that is just not worth the price of the pain of confusion and isolation that comes when part of the body is severed and another is unknowingly holding the clippers (John 15:6 and Matthew 18:6).
S1.E1- Core Value #1
Scripture References
“Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”
Matthew 7:5 NLT
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Colossians 3:13 NLT
“If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?”
1 Corinthians 12:15-17 NLT
“Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned.”
John 15:6 NLT
“But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
Matthew 18:6 NLT
So you’re telling me I really need to be in church?
Yes, I’m telling you that you really need to be in church. Hear me out—
A few years ago I was adamant that the system we call church wasn’t real. I was convinced that, somehow with the advent of modern technology, we had twisted and misunderstood what church is supposed to be. To prove myself right, I did a deep dive into the Book of Acts convinced I would find my proof.
But I didn’t. At least not enough proof to disprove the modern church. (Obviously, we could disprove the necessity of certain church elements and negative inter-personal behaviors; but the fact is God wants church and He wants you in it.)
The reality is church is mandated by God himself. Jesus told Peter (Matthew 16:17-19) that He was going to build the church upon imperfect people like Peter who would go on to deny Jesus while He was headed to the cross and then preach revival just a few books later.
Could it be that Jesus knew that church and imperfection would always run hand in hand?
It seems like even in the Roman age people were trying to disprove the model. Admittedly, the early Catholic Church was flawed what with its selling of salvation and all, and there were people even then trying to search out a better, more truly Biblical model like Martin Luther. But that’s the thing, even Luther knew church was supposed to be IT.
Gathering, community, being a body of believers with Jesus as the head is THE model and it’s the only one we’re going to get!
Now fast forward to 2021, instead of trying to create new denominations, as Luther did with Protestantism, there are people (myself included) who at times have been convinced that just doing Christianity in solitude or only virtually is the new “it.” But just like the earliest days of organized church, you can’t escape the fact that you and I were called to be together— flaws and all.
It’s a fact that is literally written in Jesus’ DNA if we truly believe that He was The Word (John 1:1-5).
One of our biggest goals at VIP is to get believers off the sidelines and in the game of their relationship with God. Because truthfully (and I know this is tough to admit), while salvation is in no way tied to church attendance, your personal growth in Christ IS tied to church attendance.
(And by church I mean however you systematically and regularly gather around the Word with other believers. For most, this is an actual building, but could include a small group or Bible study that meets on a regular basis as modeled in the Book of Acts.)
That’s an uncomfortable statement, especially if you’ve been hurt by church. But it’s the truth.
God gives leaders special gifts for the express purpose of helping other believers grow within the context of church (Ephesians 4:11-13). He’s appointed certain gifts that are truly only activated within the boundaries that He’s set up as “church.”
It’s the reason why you don’t go to work and get a “an on time word” from your boss but can do so at church.
God intended the church to be the place where believers are strengthened, encouraged and equipped to grow up in their relationship with Him. And if we’re being honest, it’s HARD, like extra-work, to try and grow yourself by yourself. But having people with special gifts and anointings for that exact purpose (spiritual growth) around you on a regular basis really helps.
And if you can grow up in Christ, you can begin to do things for Christ that gives you a life of purpose far greater you ever imagined for yourself (Ephesians 4:14-16). Realistically, I think that’s what we all want.
The VIP Podcast Introduction Episode
Scripture References
“In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
John 1:1-5 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/jhn.1.1-5.nlt
“Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.”
Ephesians 4:11-13 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/eph.4.11-13.nlt
“Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”
Ephesians 4:14-16 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/eph.4.14-16.nlt
“Let’s start from the very beginning, a very good place to start.”
I sit here writing this first blog entry feeling somewhat hopeful, somewhat apprehensive and somewhat as if we’re on the precipice of something important. Not that important like, the 4th grade social studies fair you’ve been preparing for weeks for; but the kind of important like, “If we get this wrong we could totally screw up a lot of people in light of eternity.” And that’s heavy.
This is heavy. Venturing out, sharing our stories, our experience, our perspective is heavy.
But so is staying silent.
Pretending like everything is just “okay” begins to weigh on you. Questioning people and systems while still smiling through the procedures starts to eat away at you until you either decide, “It’s time for change or it’s time to walk away.” Well, MANY (and understandably so) have chosen the latter. But VIP is my ode to the former. It’s my attempt to change the system, expose the brokenness, let Christ in the cracks because after all, it’s about His body.
I still believe in the CHURCH.
I still believe it’s the PRIMARY way people will come to know the love of the Father and the sacrifice of the King and I believe it’s worth working through all the brokenness, pain and confusion.
So here we go…SEASON ONE.