The Price of Time
Admittedly I am a busy person. Okay, I’ll be even more honest, I’m probably borderline workaholic. But I LOVE it! I have work I enjoy (after several years of work that I hated). I enjoy it. I’m good at it. I help people and my contributions are valued. Who wouldn’t get a high from that?
But as I age and more importantly as my children age, I have found that the price of my time is more expensive than any job can pay. There’s no amount that can compensate me for missing family dinner ( I refuse to miss it). There’s no amount that can compensate me to not establish a routine of nightly devotion (I refuse to miss it. Even when I have to pry my 6-year-old from the TV). There’s no amount that can compensate me for preserving a Saturday for time at the park (Even though it’s incredibly hot and humid and Louisiana mosquitos have apparently developed an immunity to anything that could possibly kill them.) And most importantly there’s no amount that can keep me from quality time with my husband whom I am learning to treasure more and more as the years go by.
I MUST make time for my family.
I MUST make time for time with God.
These are two non-negotiables I am developing this year.
Creeping into the back of my mind is the realization as a leader of another essential non-negotiable for healthy ministry. Though this one is coming behind God and Family in order of importance, it is nonetheless important: TIME FOR THE PEOPLE.
Outside of ministry, my vocation consists of a lot of technology, automation and strategic system development. Somewhere along the lines, the line got blurred.
Technology, automation and strategic system development became the heartbeat of the way I conducted much of my ministry. Schedules, software, data-collection— those became the things that got my attention the most.
Somewhere along the way, I forgot that the heartbeat of Jesus is people and therefore the heartbeat of His body on mission must be that as well.
I am attempting to turn the ship.
I am attempting to see the person behind every slot on every schedule. To check in with them, to know what’s going on in their life, to have a PULSE on Jesus’ people. And I’ll admit it, it’s not super easy. My tendency is to try to develop a schedule around how to do that.
But the dividends of this type of ministry are exponential. After all, isn’t it the fact that someone kept a pulse on you the reason you got saved? Whether directly through evangelism or indirectly through prayer an invitation to church or someone’s example, every believer became a believer because SOMEONE had a pulse on their eternal destination.
Jesus did the HARDEST part. He provided the path. But He has left the responsibility of seeing people along the path to US. And the weight of this responsibility is especially heavy for leaders (James 3:1).
But it’s the ONLY way people can be transferred from an eternal destination of hell to an eternal destination of heaven and it’s the only way people can GROW in their pursuit of becoming more and more like Christ.
Life’s challenges are too great to expect people to flourish without SOMEONE personally checking in on them, someone calling, someone showing up at midnight. People NEED people to thrive and grow. Leader, people NEED YOU. Not just your preaching, leading or serving, they need your coffee date, your birthday party visit, and your phone call out of the blue.
They need to know you see them and they need to know you CARE.
James 3:1
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
John 4:35
Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.
Romans 10:14
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?
Conflict is Inevitable: 4 Steps to Resolving Internal Conflict
I am not naturally a confrontational person. I’ll admit that. That is not to say, however, that I haven’t had to deal with my fair share of conflict in ministry.
I often find that my personality leads me to internalize my frustrations. But just because you internalize conflict doesn’t mean it’s 1.) Healthy or 2.) Not real.
Internalized conflict can be just as dangerous, if not more so, as explosive conflict.
I often come back to the writer of Hebrews who says: There is something dangerous about a ROOT of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15). Roots start small and unseen (Sound familiar, my non-confrontational friends?) but from them can come mighty consequences.
For those who are more “full steam ahead” in their emotions, it’s almost better (if you can avoid sinning in your anger [Ephesians 4:26-27]) because at least the issue is out in the open and not taking root in your heart. But that’s not the purpose of this post…
I was recently asked by a church leader to complete a task that instantly made me cringe. Immediately, I could feel my stress levels begin to heighten, my defenses begin to mount and a bit of anger begin to rise up.
(Hey, I’m a HUMAN!)
I began to wrestle with my emotions because I seriously wanted to say, “No! That’s dumb and I don’t agree.” But thank God for His wisdom!
I knew I didn’t want the discomfort of my internal turmoil to continue but I also wanted to be sure that my reasons for wanting to say “No” weren’t based in a valid concern or righteous anger. After all, the Bible is VERY CLEAR that in the last days even sources that seem good can actually be attempting to lead you towards evil (Matthew 24:12).
This is why John tells us that we are to “Test the spirits to see whether they are from God (1 John 4:1)” and DO NOT just believe everything that comes out of the mouth of a person who is a Christian—EVEN LEADERS (paraphrased)!
Does this mean you should go around with a magnifying glass full of doubt, stirring up division and confusion regarding Christian fellowship? NO, NO, NO!
But it does mean when you have “check in your spirit” or a “discomfort in your emotions” it’s a good time to pause and invite Holy Spirit in for clarity and discernment regarding what’s really going on (1 Corinthians 12:10).
With the help of Holy Spirit you can go from internal conflict to a peaceful resolution, often without ever even having to engage with another person (as was my recent testimony).
4 Steps to Resolving Internal Conflict through the ministry of Holy Spirit:
In prayer, invite Holy Spirit into the conflict. Welcome His presence, His counsel and His wisdom. After all, Holy Spirit is JESUS’ personal presence in your life and He wants to be involved in EVERYTHING (John 16:7, 13-14 NIV).
Ask Holy Spirit to reveal why is this conflict bothering you? Run the situation through a “test” of righteousness or evil. (In my situation, I realized that I was NOT being asked to do something evil or sinful so I knew the conflict was more about me than the other person. However, if evil were involved, then it would be a clear time to STOP and go no further. Remember that part earlier about the last days and evil?)
With the help of Holy Sprit, create an action plan to deal with the results of Step 2. (For me, because the discomfort was solely due to my personality type, I took the request as an opportunity to GROW in my leadership. Yes, it would be uncomfortable to execute. No, this is not how I would choose to deal with the situation “if I were in charge.” However, the chance to overcome, grow in my leadership and build Kingdom influence would be worth it! However, if evil were being asked, it would be time to schedule a meeting and have a SERIOUS conversation.)
Ask Holy Spirit for courage and boldness to execute Step 3.
Personally, I felt my discomfort begin to ease within 5 minutes of executing these steps. PLUS, I never even had to have a confrontation with the other person.
That’s a win, win to me!
Scripture References
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Hebrews 12:15 NIV
https://hebrews.bible/hebrews-12-15
““In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/eph.4.26-27.NIV
“At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,”
Matthew 24:10-12 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.24.10-12.NIV
“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
1 John 4:1 NIV
https://1john.bible/1-john-4-1
“to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.”
I Corinthians 12:10 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.12.10.NKJV
“But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you.”
John 16:7, 13-14 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/jhn.16.7-14.NIV