Oh, I get it now. I think? Maybe?
I was working on the blog late tonight and it just hit me. I wasn’t even supposed to be writing about Core Value #2 this evening but I can’t stop myself.
Maybe church hurt is the worse hurt because the place where you found salvation, rededication, freedom, whatever, is the same place that also turned in an instant against you?
It’s like an irreconcilable difference. It causes a kind of cognitive dissonance so vast many people never recover completely.
The person who once loved you the most now can’t stand the sight of you so you divorce. The person you once wanted to spend all your time with no longer has time for you. The arms you once felt safest in are now the arms that push you away.
Admittedly that’s not my story but I do know it is some people’s journey. And there seems to be very little Biblical testimony on how difficult these kinds of rifts can be— David and Saul; Paul and Barnabas (that’s all I can find).
But beyond personal anecdote and a few Biblical examples there’s not a ton to tell us exactly why church hurt hurts so bad. But I want to put a few pieces of scripture together to try and take a stab at the answer so that we can all be motivated to just DO BETTER!
There’s something ghastly wrong about a person who cuts their own arm off. Literally, that’s only appropriate in rare instances like you’re snowed in at a yurt on Mt. Everest or whatever happened to that man. You know which movie I’m talking about…
In normal settings, anyone who is self mutilating would be in need of sincere and serious mental health treatment. We would not hesitate to recommend that that friend gets some help.
But what if I said that person is Jesus?
You’d say, “Blasphemy!” And trust me, I’m really trying to tread lightly here, but this thing is SERIOUS.
Why is it okay or swept under the rug when Jesus’ body self harms but we write love on the arms of humans who do so (as we rightfully should do)? Why are we in a bigger hurry to rescue human bodies from self harm than we are to rescue Jesus’ body from self harm? Something is SERIOUSLY WRONG that!
If I am connected to you and you are connected to me then I need to have the utmost reverence and respect for how I relate to you. A mis-step, a mis-communication could be potentially dire and while we can’t entirely prevent such events, simple awareness of the depth of our interconnectivity can go far—
“Brother O”: Onesimus
As we were working on episode two I was really struck by the passion Paul displayed in his writing in regard to Onesimus. Many denominations, the one I grew up in as well, really put Paul on a pedestal. And rightfully so, in my opinion.
However, it’s often Paul’s wisdom, his courage, his understanding, the fact that he came face to face (albeit he was blinded in the process) with Jesus. And all of these are certainly worth striving towards, writing books about and using his writings to travel down a path of sanctification with.
It’s surprising though, that this relationship with Onesimus, isn’t often one of the traits we praise Paul for. But it really should be.
In fact, Paul said it himself in Corinthians,
“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”
1 Corinthians 13:2 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/1co.13.2.nlt
I think if we were to put this in American church terms (the things we place high value on but really don’t count for much in God’s eyes without the ingredient of Agape love) we could say something to the effect of this— “If I listen to all the right music, have the good LED lights and host small groups from surfing to cast iron cooking, but don’t love people, then something’s wrong.”
And that was me, honestly. I’d gotten so in the routine. The busy-ness of it all. And it’s sneaky because by anyone else’s account I was probably doing great. I was doing the church thing right. And honestly, I was even listening to the messages and living a Godly lifestyle.
But I wasn’t interested in people. I could’ve cared less about the details and needs of the people around me.
You see, God’s love isn’t just a love that says “Oh, I’m going to treat you well.” (Because admittedly, I was doing that.) I wasn’t yelling or snapping at people. I just wasn’t interested in them. I didn’t have Paul’s heart when he spoke of Onesimus and said:
“I am sending him back to you, and with him comes my own heart.”
Philemon 1:12 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/phm.1.12.nlt)
No, God’s love and the love we’re called to extend to everyone but especially those in the household of faith (Galatians 6:10) is far more than that. It’s a love that goes the extra mile (Matthew 5:41). It’s love that says, “How are you? No, I mean how are you?” It doesn’t’ settle for a possible miscommunication but seeks to clear the air quickly. It goes out of it’s way to check in, be involved, mourn together and rejoice together.
And this is the kind of love that let’s us know a church is being a church (1 Corinthians 12:25-26).
It’s VERY difficult to change organizational culture. It’s FAIRLY difficult to change yourself. But start there. Don’t set off to change your whole church. Or to find a whole church that does all of these things perfect. Just start with yourself. Because you are church. As hand or a foot, a toenail or an eyebrow bone you are Christ’s body. And you can bring that love that Paul and Onesimus love into the atmosphere of your church.
Scripture References
'Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.'
Galatians 6:10
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/GAL.6.10
'If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. '
Matthew 5:41
https://my.bible.com/bible/116/MAT.5.41
'This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.'
1 Corinthians 12:25-26